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I yearn for autumn colors and the splendor of the first snowfall ...and the nostalgia of winter...I wish to photograph those scenes...
But then again, I have the beach :)
Rollei 3.5f and the Danger of Butt Photos...
Here is a photo of the Rollei 3.5f, the first camera I bought with my own money.
I bought this at a garage sale for $25 in 1963 with Christmas and birthday money,
when I was 13. My father used it occasionally, but my stepmother never noticed it.
Anyway, I took it to my cousin Debbie's birthday beach party at Zuma, that
spring, and it got several of us in trouble.
Debbie had just turned 13 and looked like a dirty yellow mop, turned shag end up, with 2 large blue buttons and 2 fairy
cakes with pink frosting in the appropriate places in a red and white 1 piece with
ruffles on chest and butt and about 4' 6" tall. My cousin Billyjoe was 11. He and
I were both very small pudgy boys in blue shorts. My cousin Butchie, a majestic
highschooler in his own mind, was there with his date, a large, brunette, bottom
heavy girl, wearing a red and yellow polka-dot bikini, too narrow for her
butt-crack (bigger than him, and her name is forgotten). Her mother was there (and
was absolutely colossal in a hibiscus muumuu) along with Uncle Neil (who was drunk)
to chaparone all of us and several other innocent children. Also there was a large
OD colour tent.
When we were together, Debbie was Moe, and Billyjoe and I were Larry and Curley.
Debbie hated Butchie's girlfriend and insisted we needed a photo of her butt-crack
for future use.
I had the Rollei, loaded with Tri-X. Butt-girl was bent over, head in the food
basket, butt-crack wonderfully displayed. So, we snuck up behind her, Debbie
pushing on me, and snapped the photo.
Butt-girl noticed and came after us; we ran, but butt-girl was fast, so, I
lateraled the camera to Billyjoe, who threw a 40' Hail Mary pass to Debbie for
perfect reception.
Debbie then ran full tilt into butt-girl's mother, who took the camera away from
her, and stuffed it in her muumuu, down her decolletage (it fit). Debbie, Billyjoe,
and I were herded into the tent and told to stay there for 1 hour for "meanness and
egregious rudity". About 15 minutes later, butt-girl's mother kicked us out of the
tent and shoved butt-girl in there with a sweater covering her butt and told her
to stay 1 hour for "whining, butt crackage and egregious piggery". Butt-girl's mom
had, apparently, looked in the food basket and liked the word "egregious".
I didn't get the camera back that day, Butchie said he'd steal it back. About 2
weeks later, Uncle Neil drove over to our house (sober) and gave me back my camera.
It was empty. Butt-girl's mom probably shot the rest of the roll (about 6 left),
and that butt shot is in some forgotten photo album, 45 years in the past. I still
have the camera. It works great.
Butt shots are dangerous. Butt-girl could have caught us. She was about 5' 10"
and about 190lb.
